6 Ways to Help Your Child With Worry

Worry and anxiety are often difficult things to deal with in life, and for children this is no different. Working together as a family to cope can help create bonds that will outlast hard times.

Chris Tafelski, LPCC, CEAP, CFRC, with ProMedica’s Employee Assistance Program, offers the following tips for those struggling with worry and anxiety.

1. Practice deep breathing.

During stressful times, our sympathetic nervous system ramps up and causes us to have the freeze, flight or fight response. Breathing, especially deep and measured breathing, allows the parasympathetic nervous system to activate and calm down the freeze, flight or fight response. It also serves to allow more blood to flow to the logic centers and other parts of the body like digestion. This is critical when they have that knot in their stomachs and don’t feel like eating.

2. Spend time together as a family.

Humans are social creatures. Teens and children may enjoy time online or social media, but they also need and crave social interaction. Socializing helps calm fears and provides comfort in knowing they aren't alone. When you spend time with your children, you can also show courage during stressful times, making it more impactful.

3. Use positive self-talk.

Help your child make a motto or phrase they can repeat to themselves when they are feeling worried. An example may be “I can do this”(just like the little engine) or “I am big enough to face today.”

4. Set small goals.

Breaking down big worries into smaller goals may make things less overwhelming. When children accomplish the smaller goals, it will give them confidence to take the next step. Help your child set each goal one at a time, whether it be finishing one homework assignment or having a meal.

5. Help change “if” to “is”.

Children (and especially teens) who worry spend time in the future, thinking of the “what ifs” in their lives. Help them stay in the present and be mindful on enjoying the moment now. It may also be helpful for them to use their imagination to create a perfect scenario where the “what if” is not present. Then help them to come back to the present.

6. Create a checklist.

Start by listing all of the things that help your child cope or calm down. Then allow them to go through the list and try one technique at a time until they find the one that works best right now. Coping tools can include breathing, stretching, walking, doing a puzzle, calling a loved one and listening to their favorite music.

Chris Tafelski, MS
Chris is a manager with ProMedica’s Employee Assistance Program.